He is my best friend. The guy, whom I can abuse, I hug or with whom I can be myself always. I never need to pretend myself in front of him.
He had terrible break up with his girl friend after 6 long years. As his best friend, I knew this will happen one day because of his and his girl friend’s behaviour. I tried to explain him the situation even. But he never understood. What are the issues between them or why they had break up it is not an important thing here.
The thing I want to share is quite different than this. Breakups are generally a trauma for the direct involvement of the person as well as for their friends even. So as I am his best friend, I had to face this traumatic situation every day. His emotional stuffs about regrets and complaints and broken promises make me sick sometimes. He increased his smoking habit and occasionally drinker becomes regular drinker!!!! 😉
At one night, after having a quarter of drink, I got his call. And I wished luck to myself as I had to listen every single detail of his relationship AGAIN…!! 😉
After a half an hour emotional drama, he paused for a moment. Took a deep breath and asked me, “Why this is happening to me? She betrayed me and broke my heart. I will never forgive her. ” And he started crying.
I gave him time to finish his that drama and then I sushh him and said, “Just stop behaving like a child and give me answer of my simple question. When you guys into each other, you have so many happy moments. Did you ever thank her for those moments?”
He paused and answered, “No”.
Me : “If you never thanked her for the happy moments then why are you blaming her for this feeling even? It’s not only she was bad with you in the relationship. You were also the same, worst with her in that relationship. If you have broken feeling at this moment then same time she is also in this stage. It’s not about who is wrong in the relationship. It’s about what made it worse? “
He blanked. He finished his second drink and totally lost his control from himself. He said, “May be you’re right. In starting everything was so perfect. But in the last, everything was messed up because of my doubts, my carelessness and my over possessiveness. Apparently, she became rude and rigid. She started lying to me because she scared of my over possessiveness. ” He took some time and didn’t know what to say more, finally he said, ” I want to sleep. Bye.” and cut the phone.
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He slept. But he gave me a stroke in my mind about breakups and relationships.
“Why we always blame others for doing something wrong to us? Why cannot we see ourselves for the same? May be we broke the person even more badly then they did to us. Why can’t we take charge of our mistakes in any relationship? Is it too difficult to accept ourselves as guilty? Agree, the person with whom we are in a relationship is not true. But do we ever ask this question to us that, Are we true to them in that relationship?”
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You can post your feelings in comments, given below. I would love to see answer of yours.! 🙂